Life a matter of choice? Is he/ she the one? How can you be sure? Is it just plain shaken and a doubtful moment of your life? Or is that wat it rily is?
Currently in a lost situation. Whole mind is mixed up. Very very mixed up & confused. Didn’t realize it until i verbalize those thoughts out. & i think i have indirectly impacted someone’s life (& mine of cos) with wateva i said… I didn’t mean it in a harsh way. I was just being truthful. Much too truthful I would say. Should’ve done it more sparingly. I truly apologize…
I’ve been exposed to so much things in such a short period of time - information overload, culture shock etc. It’s kinda scary to think that i’ve changed in less than half a year’s time. Then again, changes happen all the time. Life is dynamic. Who’s to say that changing is a wrong thing? Exposure to an environment which I hadn’t anticipated has rily influenced me a lot. I would well say that i’m more a mature person than I used to be (i.e. naive, innocent). The world isn’t as pretty as it seem to be. Of cos, i’m not being all negative & i’m still as hopeful & optimistic as I am before. May be not all that much anymore…
Coming to have this conversation with him made me aware of the values & thoughts i’ve constructed thus far. I realize i’m a pro-cognitive theory person. Much & most of the time (I;m not saying always), our thoughts influence a lot of how we behave & feel. Three variables of thoughts, feelings & behaviors are very much intertwined - inseparable. So, i support that life is a matter of perception. The way u think, even the way u verbalize what u think affects your attitudes & behaviors tremendously. Such as the self fulfilling prophecy. U act the way u act because of wat u think other ppl act towards u. Another notion that i support alot is that life is a matter of choice. Yes, i agree that there are many variables that contribute to your choice but ultimately, you are the final decision maker. To do or not to do, to go or not to go etc. It’s all in your hands. To choose is a different thing from the outcome. Whateva the consequences from ur decision is another aspect. & you have to live up to the responsibility of the conseqeunces that come from ur decision/ choice. Even loving someone is a choice. Some may argue that fate have brought a couple together but I believe that there is no fruit without labor. Fate may have predisposed the couple being together but it is choice that maintains the relationship. CHOICE, in my opinion, is a humongous part of life. No one can ever escape this dilemma…
Life is unfair. Nothing is equal in life. How much effort u have put in does not mean tht is how much you are going to get back from life. It may sound contradicting to my stand of life is a matter of choice but i did mention that choice made & outcome are two different things. Especially in a relaitonship. Don think of how much you have put in, think instead of how much u have not given in. How much can u offer. If u start thinking "hey, i’ve already put so mcuh. Enough. It’s ur turn" that’s when the relationship will take a sour turn. I believe that in a relationship, both parties would contribute, it’s just a mtter of more or less & that more or less is also a matter of perception. Again, i’m not all that "blah" about life. Just that, it’s a more realistic view. I am still hopeful but with limitations, i guess…
"I sometimes wonder if you’re the one" Tough line… Hurtful as well… Stupidly honest, this is the thought I had in mind. Come to think about it, i haven’t sort out why did i have such a thought. What is making me doubtful? What has shaken my stand? What went wrong? it’s not that the relationship is insecure, it’s not that we have arguments n fights often, it’s not that we don’t love each other anymore. I seriously have no idea… love has faded? I don think so cos i still love him. Can someone pls help me resolve this issue?!
Sometimes things don’t necessarily have to last. Some things are meant not to last. At least beautiful memories are kept from there…. Weird thought rite? To me, it makes sense but it’s dfinitely a negative sense.
Having the thoughts of "is he the one? & things don’t have to last" are actually risks to my relaitonship. Where did these thoughts originate from? I dunno… I know i have hurt u, i know i have… I know with all these "weird" thoughts of mine, it might just jeopardize our relationship. Not only that, my personality, the way i live my life are threats to our relationship as well. I know u’ve tolerated me so much in so many ways. I’m thankful & i love u… This, i think, is a shaky moment of my life. I’m having a doubtful stand. I’ll have to resolve this by hook or by crook. It’s just a matter of time. Somehow… I’ll come up with a conclusion, a conclusion that I hope will satisfy everyone.
HELP! I feel like breaking down… I feel bad… I feel mean… I feel horrible… I FEEL LOST!
Sigh…
Questions to ponder:
What is the point of being together if u c no future?
Why do u not c a future with him/ her?
